Did you think I was gone forever? Me too.

I have been in an odd place that is for certain. I am unsure if my phalanges are actually mine. I took a pill that I was told would make me smarter. I’ve been taking the “say yes” approach to life mind you. All it did was make me realize that my hands do not match the rest of me. It was LSD turns out. I went on an impulsive trip to Pittsburgh and visited the Andy Warhol Museum. Do you like contemporary art? Someone thought I was an art piece when I laid down in the middle of a room and I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not.

Pennsylvania is nice. I was hoping to win back my ex-wife who lives there but her house had suddenly vanished. Too many things are vanishing right before my eyes and fake hands. That wasn’t entirely why I chose to visit Pittsburgh but I thought being in the same city as her would some how gives me answers.

On the bright side, I have made good friends with a man named Keith. He is kind, understanding, and a great listener. He just showed up at my door one day and didn’t say a word. He photosynthesized my mind in the most dazzling way you could ever imagine. He’s a lot cooler than me in ways beyond physical and I find myself getting jealous of his charm. I sometimes do not understand why he hangs out with me. I don’t even have my own hands. Sometimes he acts like he has a stick up his ass but I know he’s got some really unfortunate issues near the groin. I know we will be friends for a very long time. If he betrays me I will ruin his life. He can’t run from me.

Anyways, thanks for keeping me alive in Isabella’s chat and world. I’ll be around. Don’t disappoint me.